NEW JERSEY — Homesickness can be a normal part of the transition to college, even as technology makes it easier than ever for students to remain connected with family and friends back home, according to a Rutgers University psychologist.
Stephanie Marcello, chief psychologist at Rutgers University Behavioral Health Care, said leaving for college often occurs during a significant period of psychological growth as young adults develop greater independence, establish their identities, form new relationships and learn to navigate challenges.
Students can be excited about college and homesick at the same time, Marcello said.
“Missing home and being ready to grow, become more independent and embrace a new experience can all exist at the same time. Some discomfort can be a part of adapting to a new environment. Developmentally, college is a time when a young person is learning they can miss home and still build a meaningful life somewhere new,” Marcello said.
Technology has changed the experience by allowing students to text their parents throughout the day, FaceTime friends and follow their social circles from home through social media.
While that connection can provide important emotional and social support, Marcello said students also need opportunities to build confidence in handling challenges and uncomfortable emotions in their new environment.
“The goal isn’t disconnection from home. Healthy development isn’t about suddenly becoming completely independent. It is about developing greater autonomy while maintaining meaningful relationships,” Marcello said.
Signs of homesickness can include persistent thoughts about home, sadness, loneliness, anxiety, irritability and difficulty concentrating. Students may also experience changes in sleep, appetite or motivation.
For most students, those experiences decrease as they establish routines and become more connected to campus life, Marcello said. Concern may arise when distress does not improve or begins interfering with a student’s ability to attend class, connect with others or care for themselves.
“Feeling sad or missing home does not, by itself, indicate a mental health disorder,” Marcello said.
Students experiencing homesickness are encouraged to acknowledge their feelings, stay connected with family and friends at home and work on establishing new relationships at college.
Marcello also recommends creating routines, getting out of the dorm, eating healthy, exercising and setting small goals, such as attending a campus activity, introducing yourself to someone in class or studying in a shared space.
Parents can help by supporting their student’s growing independence without withdrawing their support, Marcello said. Rather than immediately trying to solve a problem when a student calls home upset, parents can listen, acknowledge their emotions and encourage them to consider their next step.
“A good response is: “That sounds difficult. What do you think your next step might be?” That communicates two things at once: “I’m here for you, and I believe you can handle this.””
Students should seek professional support when sadness, anxiety or other symptoms persist or worsen, or when they experience significant problems sleeping or eating, begin missing classes or withdraw from others, according to Marcello.
“Homesickness itself is not a mental health disorder,” Marcello said.
Feelings of hopelessness, thoughts of self-harm or suicide, or concerns about immediate safety require prompt professional evaluation and should not simply be attributed to homesickness.
Anyone struggling or in crisis can call or text 988 to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.
